My baby went to first grade last August.
It was a dream come true. I was kid-free for 7 hours a day. I planned and finished projects I had dreamed of doing for years. I dove into to family history work and indexing. I started playing the piano more and organizing my day.
It was nightmare. I'd jump from errand to project, filling my days but there was no sound in the house, no child calling me to come. I hit rock bottom after the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. I can't even comprehend what the parents are going through still but my own personal fears had me hugging my 1st grader tighter each night and thanking God that he was in my life each day.
My middle son was unhappy. My husband and I couldn't ever pinpoint if it was just school being boring or a situation with friends or both. He took it out on his family.
After 10 years, thinking we had it figured out, my husband and I gratefully and eagerly took a parenting class offered by our pediatrician's office. Our home life drastically improved.
I stare at each day, my mind whirling with all the possible things to accomplish and do, and wish that any of my 3 children could be with me. It's only for a moment. I wouldn't rob them of the opportunity to grow and experience but my heart aches just a little for more time and more voices clamoring around me.
The mad rush of after school with homework, practice, friends, dinner and all its noise tests my new parenting skills but brings a smile to my face as I fall into bed.
Summer is coming. A whole lot less will get done and my new parenting skills will be put to the ultimate test as I attempt to teach my children to navigate the day without tearing each other down. After growing up with 4 brothers, I know in my heart the only true teacher of curbing sibling rivalry is age and maturity. But I won't give up requiring nicer words and tones. I'll remind them that it won't be long and they could be calling their sibling long distance and seeing them once a year.
And now I ask myself, what am I going to do today?
