The Force

My littlest one is obsessed with all things Star Wars. Each year for their birthdays, I ask my children what type of cake do they want. I've made many types over the years: 3D girl cake, 3D Teddy Bear cake, trains, Candyland cakes, Butterflies cake, fairy cakes, etc. My older boy is not a fan of cake and, a boy after my own heart, has requested cheesecake and other such wonderful desserts. My older daughter is more into strawberry type desserts now. My youngest still likes the more fun shaped cakes. He challenged my creativity when he asked for a Death Star cake.

I thought about cutting a circle out of 13X9 cake. But what fun would that be? He's only 6 once. I used a 50% coupon for Michael's and bought a sports ball cake pan. Years of cake-making taught me to use pound cake for 3D shapes. Thanks to the Internet, I learned of setting the 3D ball on a cake base so it didn't crumble apart. While he initially asked for the unfinished Death Star in the 6th movie, I sadly informed him there would be no way to keep the Death Star intact for long if I hacked into it early. He was thrilled when I told him I would use candy to decorate it. Everyone wanted a piece of the Death Star, especially the Junior Mint deflector array.


Most importantly, my little Jedi lit up and the Force was with him for his entire birthday from the Glow in the dark new Star Wars shirt, the Lightsaber guide book, Yoda marshmallow sucker, Luke Skywalker puzzle, Lego Star Wars Character Cards, R2D2 Operation, FX Anakin Lightsaber, and Lego Star Wars sets that have been played with almost non-stop.

Did I mention he liked Star Wars?

Family Film

For a church activity, we had a Fall Film Festival. Everyone was encouraged to make their own family film, about 5 minutes long. I love playing with the video format. I took a year long class in high school on video editing. What took up a whole room at the school of video editing equipment now fits nicely in a compact computer program. My favorite program is Pinnacle, even though it eats up memory and is a massive RAM hog. However, on a borrowed computer with lower memory and RAM, I haven't even bothered to install Pinnacle. I know its' limits. So, I gave Windows Movie Maker a whirl. It was easy to use but the video formats are way limited.

Without further ado, here's our submission to the festival. The vocals aren't ours, we give full credit to InsideOut Acapella with their song titled "In the Sun They Melted (Snowman II)." Yes, it may take a while to load up, I think it's worth it.

My Piano

I started lessons when I was 12. That is the year my mother managed to get a piano. My brothers all started lessons when they were 8. There is a big difference. While I can "play a little", my brothers have mastered multiple instruments and play beautifully.

So while my husband thought someday, I was thinking now. I want my children to have my brothers' musical skill, not mine. I saved all the birthday money I was generously given by family and scoured KSL classifieds.

Here is what I found for $75, a 1920's piano in need of some love:


I took my accomplished musician brother with me. He played the piano, said the action was better than my mom's, all the keys played and piano keys weren't chipped. However, you can see from the picture that it had better days. Most of the pieces that remove for tuning had been damaged and didn't fit properly. The knee board was cracked at the bottom and no longer sit properly and besides the dings and gouges, someone had CUT the piano legs, removed them and then glued them back in without wiping out the excess glue (I'm still at a loss as to why).

Did this faze me? Are you kidding! I have a gifted carpenter as a husband. While he didn't own a lathe for turning new legs (we bought them turned), he cut new wedges and fashioned all the pieces back to their original state. He then spent a week with wood putty and myself as the sander to take care of dings and gouges. With the exterior components all fashioned properly, I then set about painting.

It was far too damaged and repaired to stain it or retain the wood color. So I enlisted my mother and we painted and antiqued. I scrubbed hardware for 4 hours. Now I have the results.

My husband's next project is to fashion me an old fashioned piano stool. I found the hardware to make it adjusting for $25. This January my kids start lessons and no it isn't optional.

Baby Shower

My sister-in-law is due January 2nd with my 1st nephew to live in the state and easy distance to spoil and love. Sorry dear Sister, nephew and future nephew (due Dec. 21st) and 2 nieces in Wisconsin. You make sure your medical school dad tries really, really hard to get residency much closer.

My daughter and I eagerly set out to provide an awesome baby shower. Grandma set the theme with lambs. Yes, that's right, we adore lambs. Being Shepherd's (with the correct spelling) has always been a source of pride and we wanted to help welcome the new lamb to the fold in style.

I made a diaper cake (unfortunately, no picture). We played candy games like how many butter mints are in the big plastic bottle and name that candy shout out with breastfeeding matching Milky Way and the night of conception matching Skor candy bar. It was a lot of fun.

My favorite addition to the party came from my 9 year old and her love of getting cookbooks from the library. Her latest checkout was Cupcakes Galore. She was flipping through it 2 days before the shower and found sheep cupcakes. So we jetted to the store. Friday she made cupcakes and Saturday she decorate them.

Aren't they cute? Just need frosting, Junior Mints and marshmallows. Not only did we have a themed treat but my daughter loved making them and showing them off.

Halloween

Halloween Night--my WONDERFUL brother not only dressed up but took my 3 eager children trick-0r-treating for hours! They came home loaded up with candy, said he was the best uncle ever and knew which houses gave the best candy. So, one of the real stars of Halloween was my brother who left me to lounge around passing out candy instead of booking it with my kids for candy.

She, of course, was brilliant. However, I didn't concoct her brilliance. Every year my kids love their costumes and look amazing. The other real star of Halloween is Grandma. My husband took one look at my daughter's vampiress dress and asked if we took the sleeves off could she wear it to church. It's that fancy. It is made out of left over bridesmaid dress fabric and notions. It cost me all of $1 for a pattern and I don't count the boots because she needed another pair shoes.

He was scary. He wanted to be. He is my most easy going when it comes to costumes. Somehow, he always chooses something we have stuff for. I spent $6 buying a Dracula make-up kit with fangs and the medallion. Grandma had the cape and she made him a special cummerbund to finish off the effect. He always shines on Halloween in my eyes. If he notices a discrepancy in candy levels, he never fails to share or help other kids feel good about what they have. It's a trait I love about him.

The force is strong with this one. Grandma of course made all the pieces for his Jedi costume. I made the lightsaber out of a pool noodle and duct tape. I learned long ago that little Jedi's need soft lightsabers for their duels. Grandma knew how much my littlest one loves Star Wars and made the costume purposely bigger so he can enjoy it for the coming year and maybe even next year. Thanks to my family, my children had a wonderful Halloween.

BUSY BUSY BUSY

Yes, that is what happens when your 3 children go off track right before Halloween. There were play dates, parties, Halloween costumes to get in order, church activities and responsibilities, baby showers to plan and execute, a piano to refinish and paint coffee table to match living room decor and 3 kids to keep from killing each other.

But, today, my children are back in school.

Did I enjoy sleeping in? Of course. But what I do not currently hear? I don't hearing fighting or teasing. I read the paper this morning, finished all my daily cleaning chores, read Star Wars books with my kindergartner and I'm now sitting down to enjoy computer time which would be non-existent with my children clamoring around me. It's a little bit of heaven.

I was very creative the past 3 weeks with my children and now I hope to share with all of you my triumphs and best moments. My husband always says wow but as a female I want a little more gushing from those who know how much work it really takes.

Annual Fun Run

To me, the words don't go together. I run/jog/power walk/walk to lose weight. My children's school has made this an annual tradition that my kids love. They have balloons leading up to the finish line. Teachers challenge their kids to stay with them on the course. They hand out water bottles.

This year both Emma and Teddy ran the 2 miles instead of 1 mile.

Wyatt, my little kindergarten hero, jogged in the school field. Unfortunately, he couldn't do 2 laps, only 1. However, the little man had croup the night before and was just recovering so I'm giving him kudos for doing 1 lap.


Next year, I hope to keep up with Emma. I think it might take 2 years to get me in shape for Teddy's pace. He's fast and wants to be. I know I can keep up with Wyatt. So here's to Fun for my kids and hopefully weight loss and a more in shape woman for me.

Summer Lesson #6

The end.

I love the end--the end of the story, the wrap-up, the completion of one thing to go on to something new.


I love the end of summer. The last minute hikes in the canyons to see everything before the colors start changing. It finally begins to drop in temperature. My kids fidget in anticipation, excited to wear new clothes bought at the last possible moment--a little big-- in hopes that they will last the school year. My kids and I get a routine back, myself a slave to school bells just as much as when I was in school.

Now, there are NEW stories to read. Science projects to explore. Exciting things to tell each day around the dinner table. Friends seen each day and new ones made. Most importantly, a chance to learn new things and grow.

A chance to read, practice math and spend a couple hours with
other kids learning, instead of all by himself with just mom for company.


A chance to be a great friend, find out about experiments that will drive Mom
crazy as each day something new can be tried, to become more responsible
and crazy smart.


A chance to hone the steel trap of his memory, absorb new facts,
test his physical strength and continue to excel in anything
he desires.

The beginning of new school year is filled with possibilities.

Summer Lesson #5

I love to create or remake.

We had the opportunity to get a locking cabinet. It had been my Great Grandpa's gun cabinet. It had been in my parent's room for over 20 years. My mother was remodeling and since my father only had one shotgun left, they weren't keeping the cabinet.

My husband wanted it. We have few more guns and he was more than happy to keep my father's shotgun safe. However, the front panel was clear glass and the size of the cabinet made it tricky to place in the house. There was only one room it would fit in--my living room.

Despite my husband's desire to be NRA and proud of his guns, I do not decorate my living room to Guns and Ammo taste. So, it was time to be inventive.

For years, my mother had wanted to give the cabinet the stained glass effect. You can paint the glass with lead lines and special paint and TADAAA! You have a beautiful decorated cabinet that women would be willing to display. So, we moved the cabinet to the garage and went to work.

A couple of hours were spent searching and drawing the design. It cost me about $30 in Gallery Glass paint. My mother and I spent 3 days painting.
















The result was perfect. My husband likes it so much, he is willing to go the extra mile and install cabinet lighting to glow from the inside and highlight the glass.

I love looking at and knowing that I helped create it's final look. It gave me the confidence to tackle my next project. I found a functioning piano for $75. The piano cabinet is very sad. Someone cut the piano legs to clear a corner and then tried to glue them back in. It's dented and dinged and pieces were not fitting nicely. So, with my husband's extraordinary carpentry skills, I'm restoring a 1920's piano. I'll share my new project when I've completed it.

Summer Lesson #4

Bribery does not always work.

With a week left of school this last June, I started dreading the fact that two of my children would now spend more of the day together instead of in different classrooms. My 9 year old and 7 year old waste no opportunity to tease, tattle, pick on and generally annoy each other.

So, I came up with a reward system. Each day that no major fighting occurred, I would mark a star on the calendar. When there were 5 stars, we could all choose a $1 movie and go.

So how many times did we make it to the $1 movie theater. That's right, not once.

I did however come up with many clever new consequences. If you say an unkind thing, you can make that person's bed the next morning to do something nice to compensate for the not nice. Physical fighting will not be tolerated in any form and you will be grounded (I had to do this twice). If I have to listen to potty language, you can clean the toilet. Potty language disappeared entirely.

So, how did I survive the summer? Projects, friends and Grandma's. I came up with projects that took us out of the house. I drove them to friend's house to keep them apart. Most importantly, the Grandma's saved us all.

On both sides of the family, they took time to give each child days on their own with just Grandma. My children came home happier with awesome stories and projects they did. Each one felt valued individually and not in relation to their siblings which is the major reason they pick at each other. They want to be noticed above, around, or over their siblings. Mom loves them all but each day they clamor for more proof or fight to the death to get just a little more attention, even the negative kind.

So here's to the Grandma's--summer wouldn't have been the same without them.

Summer Lesson #3

Besides the failure to lose weight, trek was hard physically and emotionally. While I'll never come away with my husband's enthusiasm for it (it was his 2nd time to trek like a pioneer), I did value the experience. When an experience touches you and brings new appreciation, it can also make you wordy. If you're willing to bear with me, I'll share what things I learned.

One of the first things my husband and I admired was the young people's help of each other. 14 to 18 year old kids are not always known for their selflessness or sibling camaraderie. When the going got tough, they banded tighter together. This was especially true of direct siblings. One brother got out in the pouring rain to help his sister's tent which was leaking. Brothers watched out for brothers and in the evenings sat close together. Coming from our stage in life, where are children are non-stop fighting with each other and will do anything to pick on each other, we greatly admired the siblings (and the parents who taught them) for their ability to willingly help each other, to offer encouragement and be there if they were needed.

Attitude can make or break the day. You cannot always choose what will happen to you, but you can choose how you'll respond. By the third day, I struggled and managed to find the giddy happy. I was almost done. It was mostly downhill and by flying (I put my arms out like a little girl for airplane wings and let gravity propel me down) I could laugh and be silly and encourage the girls around me to do the same. I could sing "Popcorn popping" and jump each time we said the word pop. I could just have fun. An infectious attitude can lift those around you. On the reverse, if you choose to say it's too hard and think it's the worst thing ever, you will fulfill your own prophecy. I'm certain that one of the youth in our group was told by parents that it would be worth it and encouraged (or made) to come. The youth set out to prove parents wrong. After the first hill, all was lost and the youth rode in the medical truck for the next 2 days. The last day, the truck was emptied of all persons and my husband had to encourage, cajole and finally drag the youth down the hill. They were the last to reach buses. I listened to the youth go on and on during the evening fireside. The rest of us shared stories of humor, fun, what we learned and the youth sat 2 feet from me and complained about every aspect of the trek from food, people, shoes, tents, etc. Everything was wrong. I felt sorry for the youth. I was exhausted and sunburned with a few blisters but my husband was beside me, some wonderful youth were beside me and I felt a new respect for my ancestors and commitment to live my faith as strong as they did. I'll not have their physical challenges but I can face the emotional ones with courage like theirs. I had a wonderful experience that tested me and made me stronger and the youth just had a hard walk. It was all in the attitude.

The most important aspect of the trek is that it gave me a profound respect for family--my spouse, my kids, my parents, my siblings and my ancestors. My husband asked me on the second day if I thought we should do a trek with our kids. I almost cried. He was thinking of this wonderful opportunity to teach them and I was thinking of ancestors sobbing inside as they had little food to give their children and no way to carry them but watch them struggle and walk to keep up and even leaving some in graves along the trail. As a mother, my heart breaks even thinking of what it must have been like.

During one part of the trek, they pull the men away for the women's pull. They leave the women at the bottom of the hill to pull the handcarts by themselves. We watched as they walked up the hill. It's meant to foster in youth how important men and women are for each other. It helps the young girls know they can do hard things and appreciate what men can offer not only for physical needs but spiritual ones. It's just as hard for the men who are use to helping and forced to watch as we struggled. While the boys try to be stoic, my husband admitted that it was just as wrenching the second time and he talked to the boys about appreciation of women and how important we are.

I'd grown up hearing about my pioneer ancestors. Moses Wade and Edward Wade joined the Mormon Battalion and left mother and sister to cross the plains and hopefully meet up in the West. Sarah, the mother, died in Winter Quarters leaving Minerva alone. I told myself as I tried to pull the handcart up the hill that Sarah would have given anything to have gone on with her daughter if she had lived and Minerva didn't stop. She met up with brother and father later. I could do that. But what really kept me going, besides new found appreciation and respect for my ancestors, was that my husband was at the top of the hill. I NEEDED him. Nothing physical or emotional was going to stop me from reaching him. Because of covenants made, nothing will ever part us. If some nasty turn in our lives parts us physically by death, I will stay my course in faith because I want to be with him forever. I want to be with my children forever. I want to live in love forever with my Savior and Father in Heaven.

The precious covenant to be sealed for time and all eternity is why my ancestors walked 1300 miles with every ounce of strength they had to give. They wanted their family forever and would sacrifice anything to make it possible. That one walk up the hill with only women beside me taught me a more profound and humble appreciation for the promises offered by the gospel. It's why the pioneers did everything they did and it's why we as latter-day saints do what we do.

Summer Lesson #2

Big 3 day treks covering 24 miles do not mean that I lost any weight. AT ALL.

I spent all of June walking 3 miles, then 4 miles and finishing the last week before a Pioneer trek walking 7 miles a day. From Thursday July 7th til Saturday July 9th, I walked like a pioneer with a handcart and a bunch of wonderful youth. We covered about 10 miles the first day, 8 miles the second and about 6 miles the last day. I pulled a handcart up a hill with just women on the cart and at one point only 1 girl pushing behind. I was SERIOUSLY active compared to the previous months before I quit working where I spent 8 hours chained to a computer and chair.

What gives?

Okay, I'm over 30 and becoming active is not enough to cut it anymore. 2 years previously I just started walking 3 miles a day and lost 10 pounds. It sucks. It means that a strict regulation of my diet is in order with the exercise. Getting older sucks.

P.S. my sweet husband had to tighten his belt each morning of trek. Yes, he lost weight just on the 3 days, no prep training before.

Summer Lesson #1

With the start of summer and 3 children to keep happy, I fell off the computer radar. It didn't help that our computer bit the dust (quite literally-the power supply failed and when trying to repair it, the hard drive cable was damaged). Going through computer withdrawals, my father graciously offered a viable computer until we can afford the replacement desired (1.5 terabyte hard drive memory with at least 6 gig running ram, preferably 8). So, with an older borrowed computer and no time with children and projects and treks and visiting and brothers coming home after 2 years and all those other things in life, time slipped away.

I'd like to share some important lessons from my summer. The first one is the most recent and by far the cutest.

The Birds and the Bees (as told by 5 year old)

On an outing with my husband and just my 5 year old in tow, my littlest announced he knew where babies come from.

Being naturally curious as to the information--despite 3 children and experience that he will always think his parents aren't capable of except the 3 times necessary for his sister, brother and himself--my husband and I looked at each other and innocently asked, "Where do babies come from?"

"There is special part inside a boy and a special part inside a girl. When they get together, it makes a baby," said my 5 year old.

"How do they get together?" I asked to ascertain exactly how well informed he was.

"They kiss."

"Every time you kiss someone, you'll get a baby?" my husband asked.

"No. It's a special kiss," he wisely informed us. "And it doesn't always work. Sometimes, you have to kiss 1, 2 or even 3 times."

That's good information. So good, we have shared it with all our family, much to the chagrin of our 5 year old. We ask him to tell his aunts and uncles and grandparents. It's such a beautifully sweet and simple way to look at it.

He gets embarrassed now. Tells us that we know the answer. We had to persuade him to repeat it to his Aunt Ashley. It only worked because she doesn't have any kids yet and we had to promise to not to laugh.

So, now you know where babies come from.

Parental Plea

Many of you no longer have to think about the one thing that can make my blood pressure rise every morning around 8 am and 3:25 each afternoon in inclement weather. Yes, my kids are still in school, year around school does not dismiss for summer for tracks B, C, and D until July 1st.

I do know that all of you may experience my stressor at some point unless your kids are bused. Any parent with a child within walking distance to the school knows exactly what I am talking about--vehicle drop off at an elementary.

It's down right scary at the worst times, aka winter ice and snow. It's a game of nerves the rest of the time. There are vehicles pulling at the curb in illegal directions, pulling next to red curbs, going out entrances, turning left where a signs clearly designate no left turns. There are cars on both sides of the street in front of the school and crosswalk, making maneuvering tricky as they pull in and out. Plus, add the constant fear that some small child may fall or dart out.

I could continue to list the horrors but here's my main point. The next time you go to drop off your child, please consider a couple of points.

1. We are all doing the exact same thing. We all don't want to be there. We are making sure our children get back and forth to school safely. So, that extra 2 minutes you might save by squeezing next to the curb and a somewhat awkward angle, so you don't have to follow the school drop off zone, makes it harder for the rest of us to get by safely. Every time you pull up next to the red curb and make the crossing guard difficult to see, you are endangering all of our children. The red curb is there for a reason. The entrance sign and exit sign are meant to keep the flow going one way to keep our kids safe, not suggestions. Every time you make an exception to let your kid out, you slow down the rest of us and let everyone else know that "You are more important" than all the rest of us doing the exact same thing.

2. Schools make traffic plans for a reason. Very smart people review the plans to try to insure the maximum safety and flow. Does this mean it is as fast and convenient as each person needs? No, of course not. But taking extra time and actually reading the suggested drop off the schools provide each year can make all of our kids more safe. It does mean that you might be waiting extra time and it might take longer. I personally prefer to take the longer ways to follow the rules to show my kids how to be safe. If they are tardy, I don't blame it on traffic. I blame it on my own families inability to leave at the appropriate time.

3. Our kids are watching. My kids can point out more traffic violations in elementary school than I ever paid attention to as a kid. I make them follow the rules set by the school and use crosswalks, even if it means added extra time to walking home or doubling back. Kids are not dumb. As adults, if we constantly make exceptions, they will see that it can be done and you can't be there every second to guarantee the exception they make is a low risk or high one.

PLEASE, if you just stop to consider every other car holds a tiny person just like yours, I think that common courtesy and patience would guarantee us all a safer experience. It may not be fast, but it will be safe.

p.s. this soapbox I stood on for this post has been building since 2007. I'm sure it made me more preachy than needed. But please just sift through the diatribe and realize we all need courtesy and patience.

Into the Fire

The momentous occasion I had been dreaming about for months finally occurred. I QUIT! I am no longer employed for monetary gain. For the last 2 weeks, I dreamed about what I would be able to do with 40 more hours of the week at my discretion.

Ha ha hahahahahaha.

Yes, that's right. They evaporated into work I'd been longing to go back to--the full-time stay at home mom. There are meals and cleaning and school appointments and family projects and church service opportunities. All these had been sliding by silently as worked for someone other than myself.

I'm busier. Since quitting, I've been fingerprinted for the school, gone on 2 school field trips, helped paint my mother's house, helped my brother move to Salt Lake and done some deeper cleaning I'd been neglecting for too few hours in the day. I'm more exhausted at the end of each day (no more 8 hours sitting at desk answering calls when they come in).

I'm happy.

All's right with the world

Today is a very special day. No, I don't mean Cinco de Mayo. It's not just the day I dropped off all equipment at my former employers and went back to being a full-time mom (although my family will be celebrating it for months and months to come).

Today is the day my best friend came into the world.

Here is the man that called me beautiful so sincerely and for so long that I finally came to believe it. Here is the man who tells me he loves me each and every day and how great I look.

This is the man who is involved in his children's lives. This is the man who changed every diaper for their first 2 weeks of life because he was home and I needed to rest. This is the man who builds elaborate Geotrax train sets for his kids to play with.

This is the man who will build anything I can dream up. He can fix our vehicles, fix our roof and do just about anything he sets his mind to.

This is a man with a testimony and faith. Then, he puts it into action, helping people 7 days a week and whenever called upon. This is a man who leads the way for his children and helps them understand the important things in life.

Happy Birthday.

My world would be nothing without you.

Right Things

So, for close to 2 weeks, it's felt like my world was going WRONG.


Yes, my work decided I'd have to change my schedule (and not for the better). Tax season was winding down and they call it shift bids. You can ask for what you like but if they've filled that time than you have work what is left or lose the one reason for working--insurance. So now I work Mondays and Wednesdays from 11:30 am to 9 pm, Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2:30 pm to 9:30 pm, and Saturdays 9:30 am to 6 pm. It's miserable. Something will have to change soon. My husband and I are looking at all our options.


My youngest gets the flu and from there it travels to me, my husband and my daughter. My middle son narrowly escaped. So, all of last week as I start my new work schedule there is vomit, fever, chills, body aches, etc. One gets better and another goes down for a constant week of sickness.


It snows--in April.


Yes, I was really feeling sorry for myself. Why didn't I crawl into hole and never come out?


My youngest was feeling better and wanted to play a game, Toy Story Memory. I was still sick, my husband was running a fever. My middle son graciously agreed. He's competitive. When he started piling up the matches on his side, I could see my youngest getting upset at his small pile.


Then I watched him turn over the card next to his match ON PURPOSE. I knew what he was doing because I've done the same thing numerous times when playing with my youngest to give him an opportunity to get some matches. My competitive older son saw his younger brother's frustration and "missed." My youngest gloated. He laughed with glee and said, "I knew where it was" and added the match to his pile.


2 days later, he gets up in front of a room full of people on Sunday and tells them what he knows about our church. He stuns me. He says that he knows Jesus is his Savior. I let tears flow as he comes back to sit me.


The world is all right. It's better than that. Compassion, love and understanding the really important things are all that matters. Even as I continue to struggle, everything is right.

How to Wake Refreshed (as cuddly sleepers)

Step 1: An ounce of prevention . . . Start with a good bed.

If you are like most newlyweds, you may find funds limited. If you were like my husband and I, we ended up with a donated full size bed. To give you an adequate idea, my husband went from sleeping on a Queen mattress at home with 60 inches of space to sharing a full size bed with me. We each only had 27 inches of personal space. But, we were in love and enjoyed being together. We became cuddly sleepers. I spent the first year of our marriage falling asleep ON him--on his chest, on his arm, etc. If this makes you cringe, do everything in your power to buy a bigger bed initially because habits quickly form. After a year of sleeping so close, my husband's back began to bother him with the poor quality of the mattress. He started sleeping on the floor. My habit of being curled up next him went into withdrawals and I was tossing more. Within a month, we had selected the right type of bed for him. We left the store thinking we would come back on payday and get a King. Looking at our finances, we ended up a with a Queen a few days later. Yes, the King would have given us SOME space but we were now cuddly sleepers and the Queen was luxurious in comparison.

Fast Forward 9 years, I'm waking up sore. I wake up perched on the edge of the bed, my husband cuddled up next to me with feet of bed behind him. My body is stiff from trying to keep itself on the bed while we sleep.

Step 2. Assert space for a couple of months. I started with going to sleep facing him with a body pillow between us. It was harder to fall asleep and after 10 years of cuddly sleeping, he kept snuggling up to me in the night anyway and I still ended up perched on the edge of the bed. I tossed more and still woke up sore.

Step 3. Start saving for a King. Then go on vacation and sleep in a King. I came to realize that no matter the size of the bed, your husband will end curled around you with a queen-sized space of bed behind him. I can't break him of his habit now, especially when he's doing it unconsciously.

Step 4. Embrace the habit, but on HIS side of the bed. I now cuddle up even more. I revel in falling sleep with his arm around my waist and our legs entwined--it's the safest place in my world and as close to heaven as I can get at this point. I put the body pillow between me and the edge of the bed and snuggle and SNUGGLE until I'm smack dab in the middle of the bed. He's not on the edge but he doesn't have room to spare. And me, I wake up next to my best friend completely ready for another day.

For quick review, 1. Get a big bed in the beginning or you'll become cuddly sleepers by necessity 2. Embrace the habit when formed (and if one of you is a mover-moving in their sleep-start on their side of the bed)

How to Lengthen a Dress

If you are like me, a mom with daughter in elementary school, you too may find that she outgrows dresses overnight. She loves the new styles but, in one month, that okay length skirt is making you cringe as you tell her she just can't wear it anymore. My new solution, buy dresses that I can modify.

Step One: Buy a dress on sale and, of course, with an additional percentage off coupon.

Note--I chose this dress for a number of reasons.

1. Made of spandex on top to give and fit better for shoulders and neckline.

2. Balloon style of skirt was attached to inner slip.

When looking under, I found another inch and a half of skirt material

that would come down when I unpicked the skirt from the slip.

3. All the other styles had netting added as trim to bottom

and I could do that (or my mom could help me do that).

Step Two: Let her wear it, until the creeping hemline on her legs must be addressed.

Step Three: Carefully unpick the dress from the slip with what I term "the unpicker." It has an official name. I got one because my mother is seamstress and over the years, I helped her unpick. So, when setting myself up, I bought one of my own. Carefully remove all threads after finishing, tape can be helpful to pick up little bits. Iron new edges smooth.

Step Three: Pick the right trim. Take the dress with you to notions stores or fabric stores for match. In my case, search my mom's (a talented seamstress my whole life) notion box. She had black stretch lace very wide.

Step Four: Serge or hem the slip.

Step Five: Sew the trim to the skirt. Fold a 1/4 inch seam over trim and straight stitch to give stability and finished look. (If you're lucky, you can have the most talented seamstress sew it for you in 10 minutes. THANKS MOM! Or spend about an hour sewing, depending on skill level)

Notice how much longer the dress is now. The hem used to end at the white slip.

Step Six: Enjoy your daughter's squeals and watch her wear it all afternoon because you (with Grandma's help) saved her favorite dress from being donated.

Tool Day

My kids' school had "Tool Day." What is Tool Day? It's career day with props. They ask parents to bring in the "tools" they use each day and explain what they do.

So, my kids come home begging. "Mom, can you please come?"

"Really, I answer phones."

"PLEASE?"

"I answer phones. Dad's job is much cooler and he has really BIG tools and works with wells."

"PLEASSSSSSSSEEEE?"

So, I went to the Elementary school with my headset, my timer, and my prepaid card they gave me when I started working to tell kids how I answer questions about prepaid cards. The 1st graders thought it was cool that I worked from home. The 3rd graders wanted to know about my crazy calls. The 5th graders wanted to know how to get cards (sorry have to be 18, or 13 if parent's get a secondary card) and how I use typing and texting or IM each day at work.

I'm no Fireman (which I spoke after in my daughter's 3rd grade class) or Life flight Paramedic or Soldier or Pump Rig Operator (like their Dad) but I hope I wasn't a total bore. And I might have even been practical because at one time or another most people in college have worked a call center to make ends meet. They are very flexible with school schedules since they are open long hours.

My kids were smiling and that's all that matters.

Recovering the Past

For a couple of years now, I've decided I wanted to convert as much of my childhood photos into digital images. The hard copy of the photos between me and my 5 siblings are slowing disappearing. I've had my eye on negative scanners. I never bought one, unsure of how much pixels they could really provided to make the process worth it.

This past Sunday, I've become the receipent of a negative scanner. My grandma could never make it work. I understand why. The original software was not compatible with Windows XP, said it would destabilize the system. It took a little work but I found the right software and began to play.

I have 3 very old slides. I'm fairly positive the pictures were taken by my Grandpa, sometime in 1983 or 1984. The quality is somewhat poor. The slides have not survived the years gracefully and were scratched. But now, with this recent gift from my Grandma, I'm recovering and storing the images in a more durable format.

My sister and I were cute, weren't we?

Darker Matters

Unfortunately, in the last year, I have attended more funerals than previous years. This last week, I attended the funeral for my next door neighbor and today I received news about another funeral. With these experiences, I've been thinking about my family if I died and what would be best for them. Yes, morbid or dark. But dark matters stick with you, give you nightmares if you let them. Or make you sob at a movie because it was based on a Nicholas Sparks' novel-they play on emotional chords and always include death.

My husband hates viewings. We always go to support the family but he's very uncomfortable viewing the body. This last time we took our children with us. When my children were concerned, I explained the reason he looked so different is because his spirit is no longer in the body.

So, my first suggestion is to forgo the viewing.

Now I know the services are for those left behind. So if my husband doesn't want to stand around my body for hours--Don't. Save a little money from not paying the funeral home to move around the casket. If it gives him comfort and let's other people say "goodbye," then by all means have a viewing. I have never received comfort from a viewing but I've also never been on the receiving end. I can see a possible benefit to receiving support and love of those who knew your loved one. Heck, there may be a psychological reason or benefit. I might change my mind if those roles are reversed. Who knows? Heaven forbid I have the experience of standing next to the casket any time soon but right now I'd prefer not to. The only experience I have with death of a closer loved one I was 7. I was scared and viewing the body didn't leave me with a goodbye but with the deepest impression that IT WAS NOT HIM. I took away a feeling of hysteria and deep sadness. Of course, the circumstances were more tragic than old age and I'm remembering it from they myopic lens of a scared 7 year old girl seeing adults crumble under the circumstances.

The funeral must be short; if there's one at all. When I mean short, I mean 30 minutes. I know the purpose of the funeral in our LDS faith and from recent experience I can see what family members want most--to share the good times and memories. So, have a graveside service and then have a meal and open mic. Have an informal gathering where people can share and connect with each other. When the wife of the mission president my husband served with in Germany passed away, they invited anyone who wanted to come to the house afterwards to share and bring a limerick in memory of her. She loved them. If a formal funeral in the chapel is desired, there should be only 2 speakers: The bishop talking about the eternal nature of the family and one family member sharing the most important things the loved one taught them. Then have a short graveside service and get to what is needed most: time to talk with one another, time to share with one another, and time to remember.

So for all it's worth (and that's not much coming from a 30 something woman with blessedly little experience on the subject), leave the traditional funeral. If you need that, we'll all be there to support you even if the funeral lasts hours. Because when we're there, we love you and it's about what you need. But, if I'm gone, and my family doesn't want all that, enjoy sharing with each other good things and leave the formalities behind.

Happy New Year

My 1st grader brought home a wonderful paper that made me smile. Even at his age, he's learning about New Year's Resolutions. So what matters to a 7 year old?

1. I want to be more creative.

Don't we all? I want to create and be understood. I want to see things I only imagine now. I want other people to see them as well. I want to write each day. I want to make things to personalize my home and make it comfortable. I want to create ways to remember my children's accomplishments and be able to look through them and say, "Remember when . . ."

This resolution coming from the middle child says a lot to me as his mother. His older sister likes to draw and is always "creating" drawings, art, boxes, jewelry, etc. He's a brilliant boy with things that come easy to him but the one defining thing we always praise his sister for he wants to be as well. He plunged into reading, wanting more. I had to drag is his sister initially because she was afraid to fail. He has a mind like a trap. He was one of twelve kids to compete in the school level spelling bee for 1st through 3rd grade and then made it through 3 rounds where he competed against 3rd graders. He tackles math and school like everything else, No Fear.

But, in this admission, he shows that we all want to be the best at everything; even if that something is not what interests us the most. And most importantly, that my children crave praise and I should never miss an opportunity. In turn, remind my other children that we celebrate other's achievements, not just our own.

2. I want to be strong.

There are so many nuances to this phrase for me as adult and it means only physical strength to my 7 year old. I want to be strong, physically, spiritually, emotionally. I have days where it's struggle to not be overwhelmed on what is asked, demanded and needed for each day. I want to be stronger. I want to know the right answer when my kids have questions about faith and be the example by living my convictions. And who doesn't want to have muscle tone in the arms and the ability to keep going when others have fallen behind.

My son is strong for his age. Since he was 3, and closing the distance in height between him and his sister, we have a special question that we asked a lot.

"What is the biggest and strongest?"

Answer--The softest and nicest.

He will continue to be strong and I know he will increase it with age and with what he chooses to do. I am proud and will continue to be proud. I hope he knows that what we value with strength is how he chooses to use it. So, I'll keep asking the same the question he's heard since he was 3.

3. I want to be fast.

I really don't want to be fast. I need to be fast. Life is busy. There's a lot to do. But I do agree with him on the intent of this resolution. I want to RUN fast. My family has always modeled healthier living. I participated in my 1st walk on Thanksgiving and there is a 10k I'm preparing for in April. I do want to be fast and I want the benefit from being fast in this arena--a slimmer me.

Teddy just wants to compete. He keeps asking where are the kids races. My husband's looking for them when we register for runs or walks. Start young and stay healthy. His school has an Annual Fun Run. There's the 1 mile option and 2 mile option. He wants to be fast for next year.

Normally, I sort through pages and pages brought home from school and ask, "Do you really want to keep this?" with that tone. The tone that implies it better be really important with drawers full of paper already. I saw this one and put it away. This is worth keeping, to remember what is important to my son in 2011.

Geek Flag Flying Proudly

I follow this wonderfully witty blog written by my sister-in-law. I've never regretted the sometimes stolen moments of the day that I spend reading it. It's that good. She put a question out there to answer: Who is your dreamland man?

Well, with slight trepidation, I will answer. It will show exactly how geeky I am that I dream not of the hottest movie stars but of my favorite characters--no matter who the actor is. Of course, it drastically changes from year to year. My subconscious likes stories and it likes to star me next to my favorite book or TV show character. In the past--from as early as Junior High for some of these and in no particular order--I've dreamed of Superman, Batman, Fox Mulder, Max from Roswell, Edward Cullen from Twilight Series, Dref Zenoson from Illusion by Jana Volksky, Jamie from Outlander series, Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables, and Mr. Darcy. For literary characters, any book that I own and pick up again can make a starring role comeback when the mood hits me.

So, without further ado, this is the man who's recently been walking through my dreams and stealing kisses as we solve crimes (although that never happens on show--yet):

Yes, I like Castle. I like the dialogue. It makes me laugh. I started watching it because of Nathan Fillion. This is my favorite character of his:

Mal from the TV series Firefly and movie Serenity. He's a compilation of my favorite characteristics: wild west cowboy, space captain, funny, caring, no one can stop me from doing my own thing. I only found the series after it was canceled and Serenity came out in theaters. I found the series on DVD and loved it. It's a mixture of wild west and science fiction with large doses of what if alternative histories. Yes, I'm that girl. I love the characters.

So, tonight, if the dreamland dust is sprinkled just right, I'll be solving crimes or running from the law with him.

Yes, I am a geek and proud of it.

Christmas Measures

Another way to mark the passing of the year and measure growth is our family tradition of Christmas PJ's. I "make" the PJ's. Before working, I would actually sew the pajama pants, buy the shirt and decorate it. For some reason, my sewing skills have never improved to finishing shirt collars and sleeves. Pants I can handle. However time constraints with being employed means I've bought them recently. I do something unique with the shirts each year: initials, names, nicknames, funny titles. This year I went with a superhero/nickname theme. I have Mr. T, Super Why and M&M pictured above. My husband has the Batman Logo changed to be his initial M.

The major change each year is the sizes needed for the 3 sleepers. My oldest two, only 14 months apart, are easy to shop for and match. While you might think boy/girl matching would be hard, you just go the boys section and pick neutral colors. I actually had the biggest issue finding matching pajama pants and shirt for my littlest one. Finding matching items in size 4 and also in size 7/8 was a big deal. I searched all clothing stores near me and ended up buying my littlest one the same PJ pants as his older siblings and my mom helped me adjust the fit.

So, what exact changes did I notice this year?

This is the first year there was no T for toddler on any label of clothing.

My daughter shot up in height in December. So the pants I bought a little big, hoping they'd last the year, are now barely reaching her feet. If she keeps up this pace, her PJ's each year won't last until her birthday in June. It has now occurred to me that my daughter may pass me in height in the not so distant future. I may end up the shortest one in my family.

Nothing beats the feeling of wearing the same soft, cozy jammies as we burrow under blankets spread out over the whole family room and have movie theater at home.

While opening jammies on Christmas Eve has stayed the same, the presents opened Christmas morning are less and less toys as my children grow and want electronics and books and need socks and clothes.

This is only the second year my children have woken us up for Christmas present orgy. This year, that call came it's earliest ever from littlest one being prompted by older two to yell, "It's Christmas Mom and Dad!" at 2:30 in the morning.

So, as I look forward to the coming year and all the amazing things my kids will do, I can't help but think of this:

And this:

And this:

And these:

And this:

BLINK.